As a state affiliate of the American Geriatrics Society, IGS was created to enhance the visibility of geriatric medicine in Indiana, to provide local educational programs in geriatrics, and to provide input to the national organization on policy issues. This all-day conference demonstrated the intent of the organization. For more information on Indiana Geriatric Society, contact Kathy Frank RN, DNS, Geriatrics Program Administrator and the IGS COSAR representative for AGS at katfrank@iupui.edu.
I wanted to share a few thoughts from the conference. We are facing a serious problem in our Heath System. The growing population of seniors, their expected longevity, and the small number of health care professionals entering geriatrics or even primary care make for an alarming future. Health care providers simply won't be able to keep up.
This means that families will need help with aging parents. That help will come from caregivers. Most will be family members and some will be professionals such as Geriatric Care Managers, companions, and other eldercare service providers.
These caregivers (especially the family members) need more tools, more resources, and more expertise. Most will not be trained health professionals and many will be caring for an senior for the first time.
I have the privilege of speaking tomorrow (October 10, 2008) at the Indiana Geriatrics Society Fall Conference. My topic is:
Vision for the Future: Impact of Informatics on the Continuum of Caregiving
At the core of the material I'll be covering I want to share ideas about how technology can improve the lives of seniors and the caregivers around them.
This in not only a desirable thing; it is a necessary thing. By 2030 the population of seniors in the United States will be 71.5 million, more than doubling in just 30 years according the Department of Health and Human Services, Administration on Aging, (2006).
The truth is that there are not enough senior health care professionals, continuous care retirement communities, or even professional geriatric care managers to provide complete and meaningful support for all these seniors. Caregivers dealing with aging parents or other loved ones must have tools that do not rely exclusively on the individual people from provider community.
After the conference tomorrow, I'll share more on these ideas.
For a complete program on the IGS Fall Conference follow this link http://iucar.iu.edu/igsfall2008.pdf
- Search Capability for Issues, Solutions, and Resources
- New Resources and Tools for the following:
• Alcoholism
• Suicide
• Pressure Ulcers
• Falls
• Confusion and Alzheimer’s disease
• Hoarding behavior and Alzheimer’s disease
• Sun-downing and Alzheimer’s disease
• Wandering
• Prescription Drug Abuse
• Transportation resources for both FL and IN
• Resources by state
• Alzheimer’s disease resources
• Malnutrition info
• Cultural
• Spirituality
• Long Term Care Insurance
• Nutrition and Osteoporosis
• Nutrition and Cancer
• Nutrition and COPD
• Dehydration
• Oral Health for Older Adults
• Nutrition and Vitamin B-12 deficiency
• Beliefs and Practices
We are constantly hearing certain buzz words in eldercare: aging in place, healthy aging, senior healthcare, wellness, and senior well-being. How do we truly age in place and take care of our senior health needs in our current healthcare system? One should become aware of the truths about aging versus the myths that are out there. One should also help health care providers to promote wellness and independent function by asking them questions and having periodic overall health assessments.
Do you know – Is this TRUE or a MYTH?
Most older adults are sick.
MYTH! Most older adults (78% of 65+) are healthy and engaged in normal activities.
If you are old, you are sick.
MYTH! Only 23% of older adults claim to have a disability. 85% of the debilitating diseases are from cancer, coronary artery disease, stroke, diabetes, kidney failure, obstructive lung disease, pneumonia, and flu. Remember -- Chronic illness does not translate into functional inability.
Older adults have more chronic diseases than younger persons, but fewer acute illnesses.
TRUE! Older adults have more chronic diseases than younger persons, but fewer acute illnesses. There are 102 acute illnesses reported per 100 people over 65 and 230 acute illness per 100 people under the age of 65. 85% of the debilitating diseases are from cancer, coronary artery disease, stroke, diabetes, kidney failure, obstructive lung disease, pneumonia, and flu.
Your body systems are affected by age.
MYTH! Body systems such as your heart and lungs are minimally affected by age but PROFOUNDLY influenced by lifestyle behaviors such as cigarette smoking, physical activity, what you eat, and sometimes if you have enough resources to access the care you need.
What should the older adult expect? The older adult can expect to lose 2 inches of height by age 80, which can lead to changes in posture and our feet - which could affect our balance and create a potential fall risk. Another fact is that the body cannot regulate its temperature as it did when one was younger, so an older adult needs to be aware of exposure both cold and heat. If the temperature outside is high, the older adult is at risk for heat stroke.
The most important item for an older adult to remember? A health assessment promoting wellness and independent function is a must. Remember that health care needs to be individualized… and that the body can remain healthy as one ages. Although our organs may gradually lose some function, a senior may not even notice these changes except during periods of great exertion or stress.
Today, there are more than 4 million Americans 85 and older. That number is expected to grow almost 5 times by the year 2050. By the year 2030, it is estimated that the “oldest-old” (85 years and older), will grow to 10 million people.
Views on aging are changing
TRUE! Aging is no longer synonymous with physical decline and illness.
Future Blogs will continue to address the issues of senior health care and healthy aging.
Resources:
• Luggen, A.,S Meiner,S. E. (Eds.). (2001) National gerontological nursing association: Core curriculum for gerontological nursing. St. Lois: Mosby.
• Mezey, M, Fulmer,T, Mariano, C, (Eds.). (2005) Best nursing practices in care of older adult. Curriculum Guide. ( 3rd ed.) New York: The John A. Hartford Foundation: Institute for Geriatric Nursing.
For the last several months, we have been discussing safety concerns for the older adult. We all know that medication management and fall risk prevention are instrumental to healthy aging, but a holistic picture is what is most important to assist in aging in place and maintaining good “health”. As the boomers age, we will see more and more written on wellness, well-being, and just overall aging tips.
But what is key to a healthy life style?
According to American Geriatrics Society it is
Not smoking- Drinking alcohol in moderation
- Exercising
- Getting adequate rest
- Eating a diet high in fruits and vegetables
- Coping with stress and
- Having a positive outlook.
These are important, but I feel that whether you are elderly or young, you need to understand your overall health issues, have social connections, be at peace with where you are in life, have a purpose, live in a safe environment that supports your needs, and keep your brain functioning.
Good Morning America does a segment that highlights individuals celebrating their 100th or older Birthday. Today a man was 107! I am always amazed at the life history of those over 100... The majority have remained both physically and intellectually active and have remained connected with society. Amazing, they never reference how many fruits and vegetables they have eaten!! So stay connected… and do your brainteaser and always learn something new each day.
Since I don’t have a healthcare background, I had a very limited understanding of physical therapy. I thought it was only “prescribed” after an injury or surgery to help with rehabilitation. I didn’t realize it could be “prescribed” to treat on-going issues often faced by seniors, such as loss of mobility or balance deficiencies.
We became concerned when my Mother became increasingly unsteady on her feet and had difficulty getting up from a chair. We thought these symptoms were signs of progressing disease or advancing age and “came with the territory.” When we shareed these concerns with my Mother’s gerontologist, he ordered a physical therapy evaluation and three physical therapy sessions a week to increase her mobility. My sister and I were thrilled to learn that exercises could help and that my Mother could be taught techniques to help her get in and out of the car and move around more safely and easily.
Mother has been attending her “exercise class” for about two weeks. She told me she likes it and that they do most of their exercises while sitting in a chair… so it is not too difficult. We are thrilled she is paying attention and participating. Earlier this week, I took my Mother out to dinner. We were seated in a long, low booth. As we went to leave, I offered my hand to my Mother to help her up. She looked at me and shook her head and said “No, I need to use my legs.” And I watched in amazement as she positioned her feet and pushed up with her legs and got out of the booth. We both reacted with big smiles – because she had “done it herself.”
- Schedule of care events (e.g. medical appointments, therapy, geriatric care visits)
- Medical issues (e.g. Alzheimer's, arthritis, incontinence, congestive heart failure, diabetes, COPD)
- Health provider contact information and specialties
- Medication list including dosage, frequency, prescribing physician, and other specifics
- Recent Hospitalizations
- Client contact information
- Updates on key issues of aging such as Caregiving, Advanced Directives, Living Independently, Family Communications, Depression, and more
- Resources
- and more
It also supports secure, private interactivity with the Health Care Manager providing geriatric care for the family using tools like a discussion board, contact logs documenting visits and phone conversations, and posting of care goals like improving home safety, reducing isolation, improving depression, improving mobility, supporting treatment plans, and so on.
June is Home Safety Month. Have you assessed your parents’ home and developed a disaster plan? With all the environmental issues that are in the news, it’s a good time to review home safety and develop a disaster plan for parents or the special older adult in your life. The focus of this blog is on falls, which are the number one safety risk for older adults. Nearly one third of America’s older adults fall each year, with seventy percent of these falls occurring at home.
Ten Tips for Home Safety – Fall Prevention
- Remove all throw rugs; if one cannot live without throw rugs, make sure they are secure with non-slip backing
- Install grab bars in bathroom, especially in the shower/tub
- Provide adequate lightening, especially around stairwells and pathways
- Keep a flashlight by the bed
- Use a nightlight
- Keep pathways clear of objects, especially electric cords
- Remove clutter
- Make sure the handrails on stairways are accessible and sturdy
- Check carpets for any tears and/or holes
- Review all medications- prescriptions, over the counter, herbs, and vitamins with doctor and/or pharmacist to reduce risk of dizziness and weakness
Other areas of home safety for older adults is same as for others:
- Make sure to have a working smoke detector on each level of the home
- Have a fire extinguisher on each floor
- If there is someone in the home using oxygen, make sure there is an oxygen awareness sign and that no one smokes in the area where there is oxygen
- Make sure there is a working carbon monoxide detector on each level of the home
- Keep a telephone within easy reach with numbers large enough to see in hurry
- Have a disaster plan
- Have a fire evacuation plan
Resource: The Home Safety Council (HSC) website, www.homesafetycouncil.org, offers more information, illustrated handouts, and virtual home safety tour.
Look for next week’s blog addressing key components of a disaster plan of an older adult.
Last week, I traveled from Indianapolis, IN to Litchfield, CT with my Mother to attend my sister’s wedding. It was a long trip as we got to the airport early to deal with security, took a 2 hour flight to Newark and then rented a car and drove 3 hours to a Bed and Breakfast in Connecticut. Along the way, we had to take our shoes off, give up our purses for a security inspection, and take escalators, elevators and a train in pursuit of a National rental car. Everyone knows that traveling today is an exercise in both patience and logistics…b ut when you are accompanying a senior who is not steady on her feet and tends to be confused….. the patience/logistics requirements increase ten-fold.
Planning and advance preparation can help ease the journey. In our case, I found it helpful to:
- Keep my Mother’s ticket and ID with mine, rather than risk her misplacing the paperwork.
- Consolidate all carry-on items in one bag (meds, jewelry, reading material), so there was less to keep track of during the trip.
- Dress for the security line….slip on shoes, no heavy jewelry, easy to remove jacket.
- Bring an extra sweater, as most airports are freezing.
- Pack snacks in case of airline delays, missed meals and long wait times. The food court can be a long way from the assigned gate – a walk a senior is not up to. If a senior has diabetes or a loss of mobility, packing snacks is essential to avoiding missed meals or long walks to the food court.
- Request a wheelchair or flag down a motorized cart to assist with transportation from gate to gate, if necessary.
- Stop when the senior gets tired and sit for a few minutes. The airport pace is very difficult for a senior to keep up with. This is especially true if your loved one has a loss of mobility.
- Limit information and do not provide it all at once – just focus on the next step and explain to the senior. Discussing the entire itinerary i.e. we are catching a plane, then renting a car, then driving to Connecticut... is too overwhelming.
- Remember that the crowds, noise and fast pace of the airport can contribute to a senior’s confusion and anxiety. Try to buffer them as much as possible by walking so that they are close to the wall and you are on the outside to take the bumps as people push past you.
- Be sensitive to their fears – dementia may cause even seasoned flyers to feel nervous about flying.
- Enlist help – ask someone else to accompany you to help with luggage, logistics and provide moral support.
- Enjoy the senior’s sense of wonder along the way – for them, a plane trip is a rare and exciting event.
In summary, traveling with a senior should not be taken lightly. Advance planning is key to ensuring a safe and stress-free trip for both caregivers and seniors alike. Be prepared, be patient and always remember that seniors will need extra special care and attention during the trip.
As a follow up to the Elder Abuse blog, I was reading more about the safety risk of older adults. Did you know that a government study found that most victims of health care fraud are over age 65? Quackery has been around for centuries. We have all grown up with Grandma’s remedies but today with TV, magazines, mail, web sites, and word of mouth there are more and more ways to be sold unproven remedies and “miracle cures.” This puts our elderly at risk! The older adult is frequently targeted for such scams and they are often unaware that the unproven remedies may cause harm. Not only do they waste their money, but it can prevent them from receiving the medical treatment that they may need.
How can they protect themselves?
- Get the Facts
- Be cautious
- Don’t believe everything they hear
- Take time
- Ask questions
- Request information
- Talk with their health care providers.
If you would like more information on how to protect yourself or how to check a product, you can contact:
Council of Better Business Bureaus (CBBB)
4200 Wilson Boulevard
8th Floor
Arlington, VA 22203
Check the telephone book for the number of your local chapter.
www.bbb.org
U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA)
5600 Fishers Lane
Rockville, MD 20857-0001
Phone: 1-888-INFO-FDA (1-888-463-6332—toll-free)
www.fda.gov
Quackwatch, Inc.
Quackwatch, Inc, is a nonprofit corporation making information available to combat health-related frauds, myths, fads, and fallacies.
www.quackwatch.org
For more information on health and aging -
Visit NIHSeniorHealth.gov (www.nihseniorhealth.gov), a senior-friendly website from the National Institute on Aging and the National Library of Medicine. The simple-to-use website features popular health topics for older adults. It has large type and a "talking" function that reads the text out loud.
Watch for my next blog -- “ Crime and the Elderly”
Anyone who has dealt with an aging parent or a senior friend that has cognitive decline knows how hard it is to discuss those difficult topics such as driving, advance directives and/or their wishes to age in place. These conversations usually happen during a crisis situation, e.g. the senior has fallen and been admitted to the hospital,l or suddenly their car has a huge dent in the back end. As I discussed in my last blog, there is no easy way to begin discussions about the senior’s ability to drive when he/she has memory loss. It is even harder to conduct these conversations when you have not been involved with the senior on a routine basis. Whether it is regarding their driving ability or their end of life wishes, as an adult child you have to remember to preserve your parent’s dignity while assisting them to talk about their decisions.
If at all possible, do not have these conversations during a crisis. Plan a convenient time to have these conversations with your loved one. Remember that you want to keep the conversations positive- thinking of solutions; progressive- how the issue will be addressed over time; and productive- not argumentative. It is important to keep the senior engaged.
Decide beforehand who is best to conduct the conversation. This is a discussion for the family members, but a decision needs to be made. For instance, if it is regarding the senior’s driving skills, the person to deliver the message needs to be aware of how the senior is currently driving. Is the area of concern a one-time accident… or is it a daily roller coaster ride?
Decide on the best time to have these conversations. You want everyone to be calm, not filled with apprehension. You want it to be convenient for all of the people involved in the discussions. For instance, in regards to advance directives, you do not want to hold these discussion in a hospital room while waiting for surgery. The conversations regarding your parent’s wishes regarding durable power of attorney or health care representative should be held prior to any illness.
It is best to pick the topic of discussion and have it prior to the crisis. Regarding advance directives, the earlier you can have these conversations, the better. Everyone - no matter what age they are - needs to decide on their own health care decisions… especially their wishes if they become unable to make decisions for themselves. The financial power of attorney also needs to be decided before the senior has cognitive decline.
Develop a personal conversation plan for each topic that you would like to address and solicit professional support as needed. For example, if your parent has a relationship with a lawyer from drawing up their will, encourage your parent to talk with the lawyer about advance directives, including durable power of attorney. You may even help them set an appointment with their lawyer. Hopefully they will allow you to attend, but if not, ask them how it went and talk to them about your wishes.
There is no clear-cut right or wrong time to have these difficult conversations. The key thing to remember is to have the conversations before your parent is unable to have them.
Some good resources are Alzheimer’s Association’s website www.alz.org and the National Institute on Aging. Click here for the NIA’s Caregiver Guide for more tips on communication or visit http://www.nia.nih.gov/NR/rdonlyres/C2F11D41-E5FE-435D-9C9D-A3489319D4AD/6531/Caregiver_Guide307.pdf.
Saying this, I should quickly add that these are all fairly new and nothing has yet emerged standard practice. This may be due to the reality that memory loss and related conditions of dementia are typically progressive diseases. Meaning, a technology that works this month likely will not work in six months. For example, one caregiver we were working with purchased an electronic pill dispenser. Each time a medication was to be taken an ever more persistent alarm would sound to remind their loved one to take their medicine. Some of these devices can even use a phone connection to dial a central database and report the activity of the unit. This worked well for time, but one day their parent decided that this device was annoying, unplugged it, and put it under the bed. Any attempts to reset the unit resulted in some similar behavior. A new approach had to be found.
So for caregivers caring for parents with dementia, simply be prepared to monitor and make adjustments with any solution you might consider. Technology can be a temporary suppport tool. The news is better if your parent is not dealing with significant cognitive problems. In this case, technology can be a real and lasting support tool.
Encourage your parents to see their health care providers to address any changes that may inhibit their daily lives, whether it's a change in mobility or trouble with balance, or difficulty remembering things or worsening arthritis. Proactively addressing these issues can help seniors maintain their mobility, better manage chronic illnesses, and put support systems in place prior to a crisis.
It can be difficult to bring up issues like this during a family holiday, so you may consider scheduling another visit in the near future. Sometimes denial is the reponse to the aging process. If your parents don't want to discuss the issues with you, you can enlist the help of a health care provider or other trusted advisor (whether it's a geriatric care manager, their long-time CPA or attorney, or even a close friend) to encourage them to proactively address the issues.
This week marks the 10th anniversary of the "Web Log" ... the genesis of the "Blog". Of course, sharing ideas over the internet goes back to the dawn of the net itself. The original idea of the then government sponsored network was to connect academic institutions and government agencies for the purpose of research and collaboration.
The Blog came along originally as a way to share information about where the "blogger" had been on the internet that day and what they had experience. It quickly became an on-line diary of sorts. This created the "stickiness" of the concept which since evolved in that dimension and many more.
For My Health Care Manager the concept has been extended to caregivers helping aging parents and even seniors looking to improve the health and well-being. Take a look at the blogs listed here - you'll find information on all of the most common heath challenges facing seniors and their families. Some examples include falls, home safety, dementia, congestive heart failure, diabetes, and many more.
Having access to key thoughts on these challenges is valuable, but even more valuable is the key blogging concept of providing direct feedback to the author. If you have a question of a comment on an article you've read, don't hesitate to use the "Comments" link right below the posting. You can read comments and responses from others and best of all ask your question directly.
If you don't see an article on the subject you're most interested in, post your question as a comment to the top entry in the Blog. We'll answer the question in a future blog, comment, or email.
How many times have we heard “ try to put yourself in their shoes” when we are trying to understand actions or behavior we find puzzling? We do this for friends and co-workers all the time. But it is much more difficult to put ourselves in our parents’ shoes. Because as children growing up we didn’t spend time trying to figure out much, if anything, about our parents. For most of us, we just knew they loved us and wanted to take care of us. It was an absolute, a given, and not something to be questioned or analyzed. We didn’t try to put ourselves in their shoes, we just worried about our shoes, especially when we wanted new school shoes and the latest sneakers.
I had an “aha” moment when I entered the work force and became an Executive Assistant to a CEO who had a crazy schedule filled with meetings and business travel. While managing his constantly fluid schedule, it dawned on me that my Dad’s business life had been similar. And I wondered how my Dad had managed to attend so many of my tennis matches in high school. I finally recognized and appreciated the effort he must have made so many years ago to be there for me. But, I have to admit that at the time, while I was glad he was there, I didn’t realize everything he must have done to make that happen. I wasn’t very good at putting myself in his shoes then, and I’m not very good at putting myself in my Mother’s shoes now. I don’t think I am exceptionally dense or self absorbed……I just don’t think this is the natural order of things.
Another example occurred yesterday when I was shopping with my Mother. As we walked from the car to the shopping center, I was focused on our destination – the World Market store – and the list of things I wanted to purchase for Christmas – gift wrap, gourmet items and some wine. I didn’t pay attention to the other stores in the strip center, until my Mother asked this question – “Are you going to buy a Sailor Suit?” I then realized that there was an “Old Navy” store next door to the store I planned to visit. My Mother’s question was perfectly legitimate, albeit hysterical, because from her perspective we were going to a “Navy” store…….not the World Market store. It made me realize how easy it is to look at things differently and how often our perspectives are not the same. Because perspective is based on life experience and our life experiences have been quite different. I didn’t grow up at a time when brothers, classmates, boyfriends and neighbors were likely to enter the Navy. My Mom didn’t grow up in a world defined by The Gap.
So, I’ve decided to make a real effort to try to look at the world more closely through my Mother’s eyes and try to walk in her shoes. The first step occurred late yesterday afternoon – when I bought her a pair of UGG boots because I was worried about her falling in the snow in her heeled fashion-conscious boots. I love my UGG boots, with the warm fleece lining and sturdy, waterproof soles. I convinced my Mother to try a pair on and she liked them! So, now we truly are walking in the same shoes (boots)!
· An excellent resource regarding evidence based practice for nurses in clinical and educational settings is the Harford Institute for Geriatric Nursing, New York University College of Nursing http://www.consultgerirn.org/ . This site covers geriatric topics including but not limited to overviews, definitions, background information such as incidence, prevalence, assessments, assessment tools, and nursing care strategies. In dealing with fall prevention, as an example, the information that you will have access to is a general overview of falls, definitions, along with assessment tools and educational material. One tool that is shared is the Tinetti assessment tool for the older adults who can ambulate independently. The site also provides nursing care strategies, treatment protocols and management recommendations.
· Age related changes (such as altered visual acuity, decreased balance and muscle strength, hypotension, and changes in bladder function such as frequency and/or incontinence) increase the risk of falls. If you have a hospital based practice, you know that falls are the single largest category of incidents in an acute care setting and for people over 65 years of age, falls are responsible for one third of deaths (http://www.consultgerirn.org/).
· In dealing with the elder population, always remember to evaluate for the risk of falls and provide fall prevention education. Another resource for educational materials is the National Institute on Aging www.nihseniorhealth.gov .
The Alzheimer's Daily News website recently featured a short article
on planning ahead for long-term care. The source was our very own Indianapolis Area Vice President, Jeannie Keenan, RN.
Stories about this topic have been fairly prevalent in the news recently. Many of the baby boomers have not planned ahead when it comes to providing care for their aging parents. This could be paying for the cost of a retirement community or assisted living facility for their parents; it could be bearing the cost of bringing eldercare services into the home.
As our parents age, it can be difficult to address the often emotional issues of failing health, loss of mobility, cognitive decline, or just the need for a little bit of extra help or a smaller, more manageable living space. Seniors may be reluctant to move and sometimes their adult children may not agree on what is best for their parents. This underscores the importance of one of Jeannie's tips: Begin talking about the issues and the future early. It is much easier to plan ahead than to be caught off-guard. Planning ahead offers you more time to complete thorough research of the options, prepare financially for the future, and come to a decision with which the whole family can be pleased.
While this article focuses on the financial aspects of long-term care, many other variables can be involved in the issue including family dynamics, a parent's medical needs, a parent's wish to continue aging in place, or the adult children's desire to relocate parents closer to them. A geriatric care manager can assist families as an objective third party, knowledgeable about local facilities and their capabilities and reputation, and familiar with all of the living options available for seniors based on their particular needs and desires.
Click here to read Jeannie's planning tips. You may also learn more about Jeannie Keenan by clicking here.
A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association by John Robbins, M.D. et al identifies an algorithm for identifying the five year risk of a hip fracture in postmenopausal women. While the study is limited to one gender and further studies are needed to assess the implications and use of the algorithm, it underscores the importance for seniors to remain vigilant in maintaining their mobility and maximizing their safety.
The factors affecting the 5 year risk are as follows: “age, self-reported health, weight, height, race/ethnicity, self-reported physical activity, history of fracture after age 54 years, parental hip fracture, current smoking, current corticosteroid use, and treated diabetes.”
What can you do?
- Be aware of the factors, and do your best to engage in health activities like remaining active, exercising, and refraining from smoking.
- Do a home safety check. Remove items like throw rugs that are easily tripped over, resulting in a fall, and possibly a fracture.
- Check with your doctor to assess your risk for a hip fracture and work with him/her to decrease your risk.
For a home safety checklist from the CDC, please click here.
To read more about the study published in the JAMA, please click here.
Growing up, my Mother always hosted Thanksgiving and what I remember most is my role in setting the table. Perhaps, it was our New England heritage, but our table always looked like a Norman Rockwell painting. Or more aptly, Norman Rockwell meets Emily Post! My Mother was a stickler on etiquette, and the silverware, glassware, etc. were always placed just right. It was my job to ensure the plates were 1” from the table edge, the knife blades faced inward and that the water and wine glasses were appropriately placed. I loved doing this as I felt very grownup when I was deemed old enough to place the china and crystal in their proper places.
I still love to set the dining room table. For it brings up memories of so many happy family times – holidays, birthdays, and other special celebrations. This is my favorite part of entertaining….certainly more fun than making beds and cleaning bathrooms prior to guest arrival!
My Mother is very excited about the holiday, especially since my sister and her fiancé are flying in from NYC. She has called me several times volunteering to help and I wanted to find a way to include her in the preparations. So, yesterday afternoon I brought her to my home and we debated different tabletop “looks” and decided on a classic ivory tablecloth with fall napkins. Then I set up the ironing board and she ironed my tablecloth and napkins. She was so happy to help and be a part of the preparations. We laughed as we struggled to get the tablecloth straight and she was pleased when I suggested we use the brass candlesticks she had given me when I was first married to light the table.
But the most special light shown in her eyes, as a new tradition was born. This year, she won’t be cooking the turkey nor doing the grocery shopping, but she was able to help in a way that connected her with the past, by actively participating in the present.
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George Slater

