An Alzheimer's patient once came to me after he had got out of his house and was found hours later in a ditch approximately 2 miles from his house.  Wandering is often a scary symptom of Alzheimer's disease and dementia.  It's confusing and scary for a senior who does not know where he/she is or where they are going; and is scary and worrisome for family caregivers.  Wandering can occur anytime but tends to increase in the late afternoon/early evening hours.  There are several things caregivers can do to keep their loved ones safe at home. 

Tip #1:  Use deadbolts on doors leading outside, place them high or low on doors
Tip #2:  Take locks off of bathroom and bedroom doors to avoid your loved one from locking themselves in
Tip #3:  As the sun starts to go down, close the blinds/curtains and turn lights on
Tip #4:  Install appliances that shut off automatically
Tip #5:  Keep toxins i.e. cleaners, bleach, poisons; and prescription medications in a safe, secure space
Tip #6:  Remove clutter from around the house
Tip #7:  Install a door alarm or place a motion sensor in your loved one's room at night to alert you when they are awake and moving
Tip #8:  Label doors, drawers, and cabinets; this is most helpful in the earlier stages

A professional geriatric care manager can help you in reviewing your home and finding assistance for home modifications.  For more tips and information, check out The Complete Guide to Alzheimer's-Proofing Your Home and home modification tips.

As nature is hitting us with all forces across the nation, hurricanes, tornados, fires & floods; a key resource for eldercare is a emergency supply kit. 

Each older adult’s needs and abilities are unique, but every older adult (and caregiver) can take important steps to prepare for all kinds of emergencies and put plans in place, even when residing in a retirement community.  Start by evaluating personal needs when making emergency plan. A commitment to planning today will help prepare the older adult for any emergency situation. Consider how a disaster might affect your individual needs.

• Plan to make it on your own, at least for a period of time. It's possible that you will not have access to a medical facility or even a drugstore.
• Identify what kind of resources you use on a daily basis and what you might do if they are limited or not available.
• Get an emergency supply kit.  (http://www.ready.gov/america/getakit/index.html)
• If you must evacuate, take your pets with you, if possible. However, if you are going to a public shelter, it is important to understand that animals may not be allowed inside.
• Plan in advance for shelter alternatives that will work for both you and your pets; consider loved ones or friends outside of your immediate area who would be willing to host you and your pets in an emergency.

When preparing for a possible emergency situation, it's best to think first about the basics of survival: fresh water, food, clean air and warmth.

Recommended Items to Include in a Basic Emergency Supply Kit:

• Water, one gallon of water per person per day for at least three days, for drinking and sanitation
• Food, at least a three-day supply of non-perishable food
• Battery-powered or hand crank radio and a NOAA Weather Radio with tone alert and extra batteries for both
• Flashlight and extra batteries
• First aid kit
• Whistle to signal for help
• Dust mask, to help filter contaminated air and plastic sheeting and duct tape to shelter-in-place
• Moist towelettes, garbage bags and plastic ties for personal sanitation
• Wrench or pliers to turn off utilities
• Can opener for food (if kit contains canned food)
• Local maps

Medications and Medical Supplies
If you take medicine or use a medical treatment on a daily basis, be sure you have what you need to make it on your own for at least a week, maybe longer.

• Make a list of prescription medicines including dosage, treatment and allergy information.
• Talk to your pharmacist or doctor about what else you need to prepare.
• If you undergo routine treatments administered by a clinic or hospital or if you receive regular services such as home health care, treatment or transportation, talk to your service provider about their emergency plans. Work with them to identify back-up service providers and incorporate them into your personal support network.
• Consider other personal needs such as eyeglasses, hearing aids and hearing aid batteries, wheelchair batteries, and oxygen.
• Include copies of important documents in your emergency supply kits such as family records, medical records, wills, deeds, social security number, charge and bank accounts information and tax records.

For more information on special needs, see Disaster Preparedness For People With Disabilities  from FEMA, and Disaster Preparedness for Seniors by Seniors from the Red Cross.

Keep in mind a disaster can disrupt mail service for days or even weeks. Consider direct deposit by calling the Go Direct toll-free helpline at (800) 333-1795 or sign up at www.GoDirect.gov. Sponsored by U.S. Department of the Treasury and the Federal Reserve Banks, this option will ensure you get your social security or SSI payment on time each month.

Preparing makes sense. Get ready now.

Laurie recently posted a comment about her mom having problems mixing up her medications.  This is a very common problem.  The average person over age 65 is taking 8 prescription medications.  Someone who is battling chronic diseases may be taking many more. 

The number of medications is confusing in the best of circumstances, but clearly other challenges like declining vision, cognitive issues, or problems with manual dexterity make medication management a daunting task. 

Some of the posts in my blog can help.  See Technology in Day-to-Day Medication Management and Create Your Medication List Now.  You can also click here for our full blog list on Medication Management where you will find lots of additional advice and insight.

You can also ask question directly of a Health Care Manager by joining our Caregiving community.  Click here for that link.

Surveys show what most everyone already knows – seniors, by almost a 90% margin, desire to continue living in their current home rather than moving to an alternative living situation.  Many believe they can’t afford an equivalent senior living residence, but most do not want to leave the comfort and memories of their home.

Barring safety or health issues that would mandate a move, there are many ways to provide services that allow staying in the home – at least for awhile.  Some solutions are more expensive than moving to a senior living community, so if economics are an issue the alternatives need to be carefully compared.

The least expensive service (and not medically helpful) is a companion.  Hired directly, companions can be found in the $9 to $13 hourly range, and in the $14 to $20 hourly range if hired through an agency.  Important considerations including screening and background checking, back up for absences and vacations, supervision, taxes, insurance and turnover come in to play when making the decision between independents and agencies.  We have intervened in abusive companion cases as well as screened potential solo companions and agencies to help families arrive at the decisions they prefer.  According to the MetLife Mature Market Institute, the national average for agency-provided companion/homemaker services is $18 per hour.  Many times a companion can be utilized for shorter periods of time to provide assistance and friendship for shopping, errands, cooking or simply conversation. 

When higher skilled services are provided, they start with a certified home health worker and move up through Certified Nursing Assistants (CNAs) to Licensed Practical Nurses (LPNs) and Registered Nursed (RNs).  The national average is $19 per hour for home health aides (from licensed agencies) according to the MetLife Mature Market Institute.  In some areas, the average hourly rate is less than $13 and in other areas, it is more than $30. 

It’s important to assess the skill level and coverage needed to provide the necessary support for seniors living in their homes.  My Health Care Manager does this assessment using a Registered Nurse working with one of our 5,000 networked RNs throughout the U.S.  Using an unbiased professional helps in the analysis so the result is not skewed to a preferred alternative.

There will be more about this issue in my next blog.

According to the Mayo Clinic, there are nearly 10 million Americans that provide approximately 8.4 billion hours of unpaid care!  These caregivers are often family members.  Providing care in the home for someone who has Alzheimer's is a 24/7 job often with little relief.  I've met families who state they only get 4-5 hours of sleep at night because mom/dad will get up and mill about, or that they sleep with a baby monitor.  My grandmother used to say she slept with one ear open so she could hear what my grandfather was doing.  Caregiver stress can lead to feelings of resentment, physical health decline (heart attack or minor stroke), emotional distress, and possibly unintentional elder abuse.  I once had a wife of an Alzheimer's husband who said she knew she was at her breaking point, when she thought she was going to hit her husband and started having feelings of anger and resentment instead of love and patience.  I urge ALL family caregivers to not let the stress get to this breaking point.  It is OK to ask for and accept help.  I understand that we feel we are the best person for the job.  However, our job is also to take care of ourselves.  We are no good to our loved ones if we are stressed out and physically and emotionally distressed. 
There are several respite care options.  One is adult daycare.  The majority of adult day centers take a social approach verses a medical approach.  It's a time for seniors to get together in a social setting and do activities that promote physical and mental health.  Adult day centers allows caregivers to set their own schedule, take mom/dad there once a week or 3 times a week or every other week...this allows you, the caregiver, time to run errands, have lunch with friends, take a nap, etc.  Another respite care option is hiring an in-home companion to come and sit with mom/dad while you run errands or take some time for yourself.  Another option is having a volunteer from the local Alzheimer's Association or Area Agency on Aging come and spend time with mom/dad while you take time for yourself.  Another source of volunteers is the local university, check with the school of social work, education, or nursing. 
The goal is often to keep mom/dad at home for as long as possible.  Receiving and accepting assistance will help you achieve this goal as well as help you maintain your overall health so you can be the best caregiver.  There is no guilt or shame in accepting help from others, and all caregivers should be praised for doing this often difficult job!

To make effective use of any set of tools you need to combine them with process.  In the case of caring for aging parents, the process is something you have to repeat over and over.  The situation changes, health conditions like diabetes or cognitive concerns change, needs and desires change, and all of these play in to the decisions about the next course of action.

At My Health Care Manager we have defined, detailed and implemented processes at all levels of service delivery - over 100 in all.  These include detailed flows, processing narratives, measures, entry and exit criteria, responsibility identification, and more.  At the core, however, these processes all revolve around this simple cycle.

If you are caring for a senior, consider adopting a process like this one and implementing changes in the top 3 (or fewer) areas of concern in each iteration.  Clearly, trying to change too many things at once can actually be counterproductive.  Any of us, especially if we're sick, depressed, or struggling with cognitive decline, can only impact a small number or areas at one time.

Understanding that this is a cycle with re-evaluation can help manage the sometimes overwhelmingly long list of things needing attention.

Continuing on the family communications theme from my last blog, I want to share our experience with a wonderful product that helps family and friends easily communicate with an older adult.  The product and its service is called Presto, and it’s a one-way email product.  Someone (my wife in our case) serves as the manager to allow approved people’s email addresses to send messages and photos to the senior’s Presto email account.  The community can be as large as desired with adult children, grandchildren, friends and neighbors all authorized to send.  This “authorized sender” status eliminates spam and solicitations which is a great value Presto provides in its ongoing service.

At the receiving end is a HP ink-jet color printer with a dial-in modem that has been simplified for ease of use by a senior.  Adding paper is easily done by my mother and father-in-law, both 95, but one of the family changes the ink cartridges when necessary.  The Presto service dials the printer several times a day and transmits whatever is has received.

The result is the “magic” that appears from friends and family whenever it is sent.  My father-in-law has saved every message and picture he has received over the last 2 years (we bought both of them units at Christmas two years ago), and he eagerly awaits new messages.  The same with mother. 

Since My Health Care Manager is independent of all vendors and health providers, we don’t make a penny on the recommendation.  However, the Presto people will include an additional cartridge (HP95) and 2 months’ free service if you order it from www.presto.com/myhealthcaremanager in recognition of our support.

As a follow up to the Elder Abuse blog, I was reading more about the safety risk of older adults. Did you know that a government study found that most victims of health care fraud are over age 65?   Quackery has been around for centuries. We have all grown up with Grandma’s remedies but today with TV, magazines, mail, web sites, and word of mouth there are more and more ways to be sold unproven remedies and “miracle cures.” This puts our elderly at risk! The older adult is frequently targeted for such scams and they are often unaware that the unproven remedies may cause harm. Not only do they waste their money, but it can prevent them from receiving the medical treatment that they may need.

How can they protect themselves?

• Get the Facts
• Be cautious
• Don’t believe everything they hear
• Take time
• Ask questions
• Request information
• Talk with their health care providers.

If you would like more information on how to protect yourself or how to check a product, you can contact:

Council of Better Business Bureaus (CBBB)
4200 Wilson Boulevard
8th Floor
Arlington, VA 22203
Check the telephone book for the number of your local chapter.
www.bbb.org

U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA)
5600 Fishers Lane
Rockville, MD 20857-0001
Phone: 1-888-INFO-FDA (1-888-463-6332—toll-free)
www.fda.gov

Quackwatch, Inc.
Quackwatch, Inc, is a nonprofit corporation making information available to combat health-related frauds, myths, fads, and fallacies.
www.quackwatch.org

For more information on health and aging -
Visit NIHSeniorHealth.gov (www.nihseniorhealth.gov), a senior-friendly website from the National Institute on Aging and the National Library of Medicine. The simple-to-use website features popular health topics for older adults. It has large type and a "talking" function that reads the text out loud.

Watch for my next blog --  “ Crime and the Elderly”

Got a headache, back pain, high cholestrol levels, etc?...then pop a pill.  That is often the "magic" solution in today's health care system.  According to the American Heart Association, 32 million Americans take 3 or more medications daily.  Seniors often take double or triple that amount and sometimes more.  The problem is, is that with all medications come potential side effects and then to treat those side effects people are often prescribe another medication and so on.  Another problem is that seniors often have multiple physicians who often are not aware of what the other physicians' treatment plans are and what medications they are prescribing.  According to Medco Health Solutions, a pharmacy benefits manager, "the risk for drug errors is 7 times greater in seniors than in people under age 65."  CNN.com released an excellent article this week titled "Is Grandma drugged up?"  This article tells a story of a 66 year old woman who was experiencing confusion and slurring of her words.  Her family took her to the emergency room where the possibility of a stroke was ruled out; she was admitted to the hospital and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.  Her children believed that the diagnosis was incorrect, as she has been functioning independently.  They took their mother to a geriatrician at the University of Oklahoma for a second opinion, where they were told that she most likely did not have Alzheimer's Disease but was overmedicated.  Dr. Jerry Gurwitz's philosophy is "that any new symptom in an older person should be considered a drug side effect until proven otherwise."  Not only do medications have side effects but they also interact with other medications causing contraindications, enhancing side effects, etc.  It is important to always keep a current list of medications, including prescriptions, over-the-counter medications, herbal medications and supplements.  All medications, not just prescriptions, can interact with each other, as well as, food/beverages and other substances i.e. tobacco.
There are several ways caregivers can assist in medication management.  If you feel that your parent is being overmedicated, talk with your primary care physician or geriatrician, and pharmacist.  There are also several online tools you can use to check your medications for interactions.  Here are two online tools:  PDRhealth.com and drugdigest.org.  Educating yourself on what medications cause potential problems for seniors is a good way to become an advocate for your parent.  As well as knowing the suggested lists of medications to avoid if a senior has a specific diagnosis.  My Health Care Manager also reviews seniors' health history and medications and can consolidate that information into one locale to assist families in managing their parent's health care.

My Health Care Manager has introduced a new FREE service that uses a little bit of technology to connect you to a lot of geriatric care research and experience. 

If you look in the upper right hand corner of this page you will see a "sunburst" linking you to a free service called the Caregiving Community.  By joining the Caregiving Community you can ask a question of our geriatric care management team and get an answer by the next business day.  Ask as many questions as you want, whenever you want.  In addition, once a month you will receive another Caregiving Community solution selected from best questions and answers we've tackled that month.  There is no cost for the service; all you need to provide is a name and email address.  We will not share or sell your name with others and we will not inundate you with any kind of high pressure sales.

So what's the catch?  Well, we do have a company interest here.  We believe that by providing valuable information to people caring for a senior in their life those caregivers will turn to us if they ever need help.  No tricks.  We know that if we can help families with the complex issues of aging everyone wins.

We are hearing more and more about the older adults being taken advantage by a scam artists, being victims of violent crime and even human interest stories of seniors being found alone, malnourished and unable to care for themselves.  But what exactly is elder abuse? 

According to the National Center on Elder Abuse (NCEA),  elder abuse is any form of mistreatment that results in harm or loss to an older person. It is generally divided into the following categories: 

1. Physical-  physical force that results in bodily injury, pain, or impairment. It includes assault, battery, and inappropriate restraint.
2. Sexual- there is non-consensual sexual contact of any kind with an older person
3. Domestic Violence- an escalating pattern of violence by an intimate partner where the violence is used to exercise power and control
4. Psychological- the willful infliction of mental or emotional anguish by threat, humiliation, or other verbal or nonverbal conduct.
5. Financial- the illegal or improper use of an older person's funds, property, or resources. 

Other terms you may hear about are 'neglect' (failure of a caregiver to fulfill his or her care giving responsibilities) and 'self-neglect' (failure to provide for one's own essential needs.) More detailed information can be viewed at www.preventelderabuse.org/elderabuse/elderabuse.html - NCEA.

The problem of elder abuse is large and is also under-reported.  In a National Incidence Study on Elder abuse, approximately 450,000 elderly adults experienced abuse in 1996. If self neglect had been included, it would have risen to  551,000. The NCEA Estimates of Prevalence in the U.S.

• "...between 1 to 2 million Americans age 65 and older have been injured, exploited or otherwise mistreated." 
• One in 14 incidents in domestic settings (excluding self-neglect) are believed to be brought to the attention of authorities.
• In overall reporting of financial exploitation, one in 25 cases suggests that there may be five million financial abuse cases.
• For every case reported to authorities, an estimated five cases of elder abuse go unreported.

What can you do? You can enhance the awareness of elder abuse. In most states, it is required that health care professionals report suspected abuse. But even if it is not mandated is the right thing to do.  If you would like more information on mandated reporting, visit http://elder-law.lawyers.com/Elder-Abuse.html.

Also, educate yourself.  The Hartford Foundation Institute for Geriatric Nursing has created a tool to document and assess for elder abuse.  It can be found at  www.hartfordign.org/resources/education/tryThis.html. 
It can assist you in assessing and summarizing abuse and neglect concerns by assessing the senior’s appearance, indicators such as bruise and/or fractures- or with self neglect malnutrition and/or signs of depression- or in areas of exploitation, where the senior’s monies have been mishandled. 

The key is to be aware, seek information, and help the seniors preserve their dignity and their rights.  Let’s keep our seniors safe.

To read our special Update on Senior Fraud, please click here.

Anyone who has dealt with an aging parent or a senior friend that has cognitive decline knows how hard it is to discuss those difficult topics such as driving, advance directives and/or their wishes to age in place. These conversations usually happen during a crisis situation, e.g. the senior has fallen and been admitted to the hospital,l or suddenly their car has a huge dent in the back end. As I discussed in my last blog, there is no easy way to begin discussions about the senior’s ability to drive when he/she has memory loss. It is even harder to conduct these conversations when you have not been involved with the senior on a routine basis. Whether it is regarding their driving ability or their end of life wishes, as an adult child you have to remember to preserve your parent’s dignity while assisting them to talk about their decisions.

If at all possible, do not have these conversations during a crisis. Plan a convenient time to have these conversations with your loved one. Remember that you want to keep the conversations positive- thinking of solutions; progressive- how the issue will be addressed over time; and productive- not argumentative. It is important to keep the senior engaged.

Decide beforehand who is best to conduct the conversation. This is a discussion for the family members, but a decision needs to be made.  For instance, if it is regarding the senior’s driving skills, the person to deliver the message needs to be aware of how the senior is currently driving. Is the area of concern a one-time accident… or is it a daily roller coaster ride?

Decide on the best time to have these conversations. You want everyone to be calm, not filled with apprehension. You want it to be convenient for all of the people involved in the discussions.  For instance, in regards to advance directives, you do not want to hold these discussion in a hospital room while waiting for surgery. The conversations regarding your parent’s wishes regarding durable power of attorney or health care representative should be held prior to any illness.

It is best to pick the topic of discussion and have it prior to the crisis. Regarding advance directives, the earlier you can have these conversations, the better. Everyone - no matter what age they are - needs to decide on their own health care decisions… especially their wishes if they become unable to make decisions for themselves.  The financial power of attorney also needs to be decided before the senior has cognitive decline.

Develop a personal conversation plan for each topic that you would like to address and solicit professional support as needed. For example, if your parent has a relationship with a lawyer from drawing up their will, encourage your parent to talk with the lawyer about advance directives, including durable power of attorney. You may even help them set an appointment with their lawyer. Hopefully they will allow you to attend, but if not, ask them how it went and talk to them about your wishes.  

There is no clear-cut right or wrong time to have these difficult conversations. The key thing to remember is to have the conversations before your parent is unable to have them. 

Some good resources are Alzheimer’s Association’s website www.alz.org and the National Institute on Aging.  Click here for the NIA’s Caregiver Guide for more tips on communication or visit http://www.nia.nih.gov/NR/rdonlyres/C2F11D41-E5FE-435D-9C9D-A3489319D4AD/6531/Caregiver_Guide307.pdf.

When your other family members do not give you (the main caregiver) enough help or support, or do not agree or criticize your actions, what do you do?  Roles and responsibilities of adult children caring for their parent changes over time.  Statistically, the adult child who lives closest to the aging parent assumes the role of the main caregiver.  Most often this adult child is also a daughter.  This person often feels a sense of joy and pride in being able to assist mom or dad but also often feels overwhelmed, alone or deserted by the rest of the family.  The responsibility of caregiving is often not shared equally among the adult children or the rest of the family.  Some family members may be in poor health and physically unable to help, financially unable to help, have demanding jobs or live far away.  Family members who do not have the day-to-day experience of caring for an aging parent may not know what it's "really" like to care for mom or dad, or may not know enough or understand mom or dad's health conditions. 
All family members need to do their homework about mom or dad's health conditions. For example, knowing the symptoms of dementia will help give adult children a better understanding of mom or dad's actions. 
It's important for the main caregiver to recognize and acknowledge when you need a break or need some more help.  Remember...you need your family.  Keep other family members informed of what's going on with mom or dad.  Try Lotsa Helping Hands a handy web tool for keeping families connected.
Some family members and even the main caregiver cannot always commit the amount of time they truly want to towards mom or dad for multiple reasons.  Having a Health Care Manager to assist with eldercare management is a welcomed relief for several families and especially for the Sandwich Generation, adult children in the workforce raising their own family and trying to care for an aging parent.

There is no easy way to confront your loved one about their driving skills – especially when they view it as their last means of independence. But yet we hear horror stories of older adults causing a terrible accidents. We wonder ‘will that be my parent? When do “I “ step in and take their keys?’ Then we ask questions and get answers like “just hide their car keys” or “tell them the car is in the shop and they will forget about driving!” You know, they don’t forget and they find those hidden keys…

Then we expect their physician to magically have the answer to this difficult decision. In reality, there are no easy decisions or ways to address this most difficult issue. But the Hartford Financial Services Group, Inc. and the MIT AgeLab conducted a research study and created a guide to help people dealing with this specific situation http://www.thehartford.com/alzheimers/.

The Hartford Brochure  - “At the Crossroads” is a wonderful resource for anyone who is having conversations and/or thoughts about stopping a person with dementia from driving (http://www.thehartford.com/alzheimers/brochure.html). This guide was developed to assist people with dementia and their families prolong independence while encouraging safe driving. http://www.thehartford.com/alzheimers/

This guide provides suggestions for monitoring, limiting, and stopping driving while addressing the following areas:
• Why dementia and driving is a difficult issue
• Assessing concerns about driving behavior
• Monitoring driving behavior
• Easing the transition from driver to passenger
• Having positive and productive conversations
• Seeking help from outside sources
• Understanding how family relationships affect driving decisions
• Advice from caregivers who made this decision

The guide also covers many warning signs including but not limited to a decrease in confidence while driving; difficulty turning to see when backing up; easily distracted while driving; incorrect signaling; and scrapes or dents on the car, mailbox, or garage.

A key recommendation is to document and share with other family members and health care providers the frequency, type, and severity of accidents/incidents and any patterns of change. Remember that everyone has isolated incidents, but it is when there are patterns that conversations and decisions need to be made. However, if your loved one is confusing gas and break pedals or stopping in traffic for no apparent reason – it is time for immediate action. 

These additional sites may also assist you:

• American Occupational Therapy Association [301-652-2682]
  www.aota.org/olderdriver
  Excellent general information, self assessments, and important links
• National Highway Traffic Safety Administration [1-888-327-4236]
  http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/
  Has fliers about many medical conditions that affect driving

In past blogs I've talked about the 17 dimensions My Health Care Manager uses to build the Personal Health Record.

We've spent a lot of time on some of the most used data like the medication list, provider list, and other "current state" information.  By "current state" I'm referring to information which is primarily valuable for it's current data values.  For example, when you are caring for aging parents it may be of some very slight interest which doctors your parents went to 3 years ago, but the current doctors are far more important.  The same would be true in medication management.  It's the current prescriptions and treatment plans that are most relevant.

However, 10 of the 17 dimensions deal with "longitudinal data".  That is, data that should be measured over time.  If you are primary caregiver it is very easy to miss major changes because they happen incrementally. 

It's just like watching children grow up.  Parents, who see their kids every day, know they're growing, but its the Aunt from across the country who's stunned by how much they've grown each Thanksgiving.  Parents can get a sense of this themselves by looking at pictures.  So it is with eldercare.  The people closest to the situation need to take an actual "snapshot" of the key data items and periodically look at those for problem areas.

My Health Care Manager does this through the use of a formal assessment.  At least annually and at every major health event key areas like Activities of Daily Living, Socialization, and Cognitive Skills should be assessed, scored, and tracked. 

As the complexities and concerns of aging continue to challenge older adults and their caregiving family members, the resulting stresses call for the best possible family communications.  Luckily for our family, effective and frequent communications have come naturally.  But for many of the situations we have encountered in our helping others, due to life-long reasons and attitudes, communications are difficult and incomplete.  Sometimes it is the senior who shuts off attempts of family members to discuss key issues including housing preferences, medical support, finances and health care support.  And at other times adult family members don’t communicate effectively and build defensive barriers in the process.

Here were our major challenges with Mother:

• Deciding to stop driving.  Following her rehabilitation from her broken hip it would never be “life as usual.”  Fortunately, she recognized the changes and voluntarily offered to stop driving and sell her car.  Had it not gone the way it did, we would have faced the difficult challenge of convincing her to part with an extremely important part of her independence.
• The decision to sell the house and move to a senior living facility went well even though we had promised her she would never have to move in her earlier situation.  We were fortunate to be dealing with a logical and fully functioning senior.  I now see cases where the housing decision, if opposed, threatens to destroy family relationships.
• The third big decision was for her to turn her finances over to me.  We phased it to have  her write checks as long as desired until she voluntarily agreed that it would be even better if all aspects of her finances were handled for her.
 
Our Web site, www.myhealthcaremanager.com, has helpful hints for effective family communications.  We also featured communications in one of our Update emails.  You can read the Family Communications issue of the Update by clicking here.  You can also subscribe to the Update eNewsletter to receive future monthly issues by clicking here.

Do You Have Your Advance Directives Written??

 Over the last months, I have had the opportunity to assist several families that were thrown into dealing with their loved one’s end of life wishes. Each family story is different, but the common theme was “the elder parent “ had not discussed nor written down his or her end of life wishes. 

 One father’s wishes were to not have CPR and to not return to the hospital if he had an exacerbation of congestive heart failure. From code status and hospital admission, these wishes sound easy. But since the elderly parent had not discussed these wishes with his health care providers and family, the family wasn’t able to fully advocate for his rights.  When he had an exacerbation of his heart failure, the nursing home transferred him to the hospital. After being admitted, he had tests and treatments that prolonged his life. After several weeks, he died in the hospital.  If he had discussed his wishes, named a health care representative, or created a living will, the family could have advocated for his wishes and prevented this last hospitalization.  

 It doesn’t matter what age you are… if you wait until the last days of your life to make others aware of your wishes, your wishes may not be carried out.  Not because your loved ones don’t care, but because they will not have enough time to understand what you are requesting and be able to appropriately advocate for your rights. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of letting those close to you know your wishes and writing them down.

Have you had those conversations with your parents – with your children?

 If these conversations do not happen, the end of life decisions become very difficult and many times will divide a family at a time when they should be together.  Don’t let this be your family.  Do your research- and ask the hard questions. 

 An excellent site to visit is Aging with Dignity.  It will assist you in addressing those hard to discuss topics ( http://www.agingwithdignity.org). Aging with Dignity is a non-profit organization that was established to provide practical information, advice and legal tools you need to assist you in identifying and documenting your wishes and those of your loved ones.  The document called the “Five Wishes” is legally valid in 40 states.  You can obtain a copy at http://www.agingwithdignity.org/5wishes.html.

Another site is Partnership for Caring http://www.caringinfo.org/  and (1-800-989-9455). The Partnership for Caring has downloadable advance directives requirements for all 50 states, or one may call for advance directives documents. 

There is never a good time – but anytime is the right time.  Talk now.

National Healthcare Decisions Day aims to increase awareness about advance directives.  While the initiative focuses on patients, all Americans should take the time to make their wishes known regarding health care.  You should decide what treatments you do (or don’t) want to receive, and think about appointing someone to make these decisions and/or advocate on your behalf if you are incapacitated or unable to make your own decisions.

To find out more about National Healthcare Decisions Day, visit their website at www.nationalhealthcaredecisionsday.org.

National Healthcare Decisions Day is the perfect time for you to create your advance directives.  My next post will focus on the importance of advance directives for individuals and their families.

As we entered into spring, the presidential candidates continue the health care debate.  The real issue is that the US has an aging population.  By 2030, the number of adults age 65 and older will nearly double to 70 million. With twenty percent of the Medicare population having at least five chronic conditions (e.g. hypertension, diabetes, arthritis), the question remains: How do we care for these elders? 

Geriatrics is a growing specialty where physicians, nurses, social workers and other health care providers receive special training dedicated to improving the health, independence and quality of life of all older adults.  Geriatricians are physicians who are experts in caring for older persons; they are initially trained in family practice or internal medicine and then complete at least one additional year of fellowship training in geriatrics. They have the expertise to coordinate services among multiple specialty care providers.  For more information on the profession, visit the American Geriatrics Society website at http://www.americangeriatrics.org.

A geriatrician will coordinate a health assessment for older adults with the primary goal of encouraging and promoting wellness and independent function. The health assessment will include an interdisciplinary team approach to the physical, emotional, cognitive, functional, and medication status of the older adult.  If you would like to locate a physician in your area who is sensitive to the special needs of older adults, you can submit your request by completing a form on line located at http://www.healthinaging.org/public_education/physician_referral.php  or contact a geriatric care manager in your area.  To locate a local geriatric care manager, visit http://www.caremanager.org/.  In addition, telephonic geriatric care management services are now offered by My Health Care Manager.  To learn more, visit our website by clicking here.

Family members of aging parents who have dementia or Alzheimer's Disease have a difficult job.  Individuals with dementia and Alzheimer's often show changes in personality, emotions, and social behavior.  These changes are common symptoms of the disease and occur with the cognitive decline.  Family members often feel a sense of ambivalence, having both positive and negative feelings toward their aging parents.  In a 2007 USA TODAY/ABC News/Gallup poll, "Slightly less than half of those [family members] providing help say it has caused them some stress or a great deal of stress." (USA TODAY/ABC News/Gallup poll, May 24-June 3, 2007).  Feelings of anger, resentment, and guilt are all common among family caregivers.  Lack of assistance and support from other family members and lack of time can all contribute to these feelings.  This person is your mother or father whom you love, and your feelings of anger and resentment can cause feelings of immense guilt.  Family members often express depression and a sense of sadness watching their once independent and capable parent decline.
You are not alone!  Most family members caregiving for a parent of dementia or Alzheimer's express these same feelings.  It's important to care for yourself!
Here are a few tips for caring for yourself:
1.  Take time for yourself!  Set aside time each week to go to a movie, out to dinner with a friend, shop by yourself, take a yoga class, read, golf, enjoy time by doing your favorite hobby, etc.
2.  Deep breathing exercises.  When your loved one has you frustrated, try to take deep breathes and de-stress.
3.  Set up a schedule with other family members to help out with mom/dad.
4.  Enlist the help of friends, neighbors, church members, etc. 
5.  Maintain connections with friends and your community.  Caregivers often isolated themselves from others and focus all time on mom/dad.
6.  Join a caregiver support group.  See the Alzheimer's Association for local support group information. 
7.  Educate yourself.  Learning about dementia and Alzheimer's Disease will help you understand the impact of cognitive decline on everyone involved.
8.  Call on a geriatric care manager for assistance.
9.  Be aware of your stress level.  Know your stress level and know when it's time for a break.
10.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Caregiving is a 24/7 job and even the best caregiver needs a break!