For the past year, I have been doing my Mother’s laundry.  In the beginning I did everything – sheets, towels and personal laundry.  Soon that became too much – and I made arrangements for the Assisted Living facility to wash the sheets and towels.  But, I still did my Mother’s personal laundry because she did not want other people “touching” her things.

This plan worked at first, but proved to be very time consuming.  It seemed that I was always behind on laundry. I tried putting loads in before work and drying them when I got home at night.  I tried doing multiple loads on a Saturday AM.  I tried picking it up from my Mother more frequently and doing smaller loads at a time.  I tried multi-tasking by doing laundry and paying bills in the same evening.  But the laundry was ever present and the pile seemed to grow each day, despite my best efforts to take control of a seemingly easy task.  My frustration piled up too. 

I finally accepted the fact that “doing the laundry” was a task that could easily be done by someone else.  All I had to do was convince my Mother that someone else could do it too.  First, I talked with the administrator at the Assisted Living facility.  I learned that they could do the laundry and that they did each resident’s laundry separately.   They also used the detergent provided by the family, so that the laundry did not come out with an industrial smell and feel.  Finally, I had a frank discussion with my Mother and told her that I was having a difficult time finding the time to do her laundry and tote it back and forth.  I suggested that we “try” having her clothes washed on site.

Thankfully, she agreed and so far so good.  I have been “laundry-free” for two weeks.  I cannot begin to describe how getting rid of this chore has improved my caregiving outlook.  My Mother has adjusted very well to the new arrangement.

My advice to all caregivers is to evaluate the many tasks on your plate and try to find ones that can be done by others.  Whether it is laundry, grocery shopping or driving a parent to a weekly physical therapy appointment – enlist or hire someone else to assist with these tasks.  You will be so glad you did.  You will be better able to face the next caregiving challenge because your reserve of time and patience has not been depleted by routine tasks.