My mother moved to Indianapolis last August.  The move was difficult, as she moved away from her friends and an area where she had lived for almost 30 years.  Her move into an Assisted Living Facility in Carmel, IN meant she would receive the care she needed, but it impacted her independence when she gave up driving, downsized to a smaller apartment and lost her social network.

The past ten months haven’t been easy for either of us.  My Mother has struggled to adapt to a new place and make new friends.  I have struggled to balance work and caregiving, while maintaining time for myself and the things I enjoy.  We have both struggled to adjust to the dynamics of a shifting Mother-Daughter relationship.

Throughout it all, my Mother has conceded that she likes it here….yet has repeatedly asked me if she can move back to where she used to live.  We’ve discussed this and I’ve explain that her home in Pennsylvania is 11 hours away and that it is probably better if she stayed here, so we can see each other more often and I can help her with things.  She has reluctantly agreed that this is the best plan, but we have both felt sad that she can no longer live as she used to and that her cognitive decline has changed her life in ways neither of us imagined.

That’s why yesterday was a wonderful day and a blessing to be appreciated for a long time.  It started out innocently enough.  I took my Mother shoe shopping.  She needed some sturdy, comfortable flats for summer.  The shoe store clerk was exceptionally nice to my Mother and found a pair of stylish, yet practical shoes.  My Mother selected a summer purse she liked too – so was quite happy with our shopping expedition.  She commented as she left that she liked the shoe store quite a lot and was glad it was nearby.

Later at dinner, she looked at me and said “Can I stay here?”  I responded by saying of course she could stay here, that she lived here now…in Carmel….about five miles from my house.  She responded by saying “Good, I like it here and I like having dinner with you and going shopping.”  Her comments were sincere and something I’ve longed to hear for ten months.  I quietly thanked God for helping her become comfortable in a new place.

Everyone needs a place to belong and a place to call home.  I believe my Mother has finally come to think of Carmel, Indiana as home and I am grateful and thankful that she is happy to be here.