I just came across a great book "Caregiving - The Spiritual Journey of Love, Loss and Renewal" by Beth Witrogen McLeod.  I've read the sections that apply to parental caregiving and saw myself in each page.  It was reassuring to read comments from other caregivers and benefit from their insight and experience.  It confirmed what I am already experiencing....that parental caregiving is not something I was prepared for...despite my experience caring for my son and a terminally ill spouse.

For with caregiving, comes a feeling of responsibility to make my Mother's days happy.  After all, wasn't it my decision to move her here when she could no longer live alone?  But after reading the book and discussing the situation with my Mother's Health Care Manager, I've learned that making my Mother happy is a completely unrealistic expectation.  So, I'm learning to be content with the "good" days, when her dementia isn't as pronounced and she takes great delight in going to lunch or for a drive.  I try to store these memories....not knowing what tomorrow will bring.  And on the days when she is unhappy and annoyed with the world, I let her vent...knowing that helps too...while recognizing it is just not something I can "fix."