Caregiver Support

I just returned from a wonderful weekend spent with four friends from college.  We have been friends ever since we pledged Kappa Kappa Gamma in the mid seventies, some 30 years ago.   We live in four different states and cherish our yearly “girl’s” weekend.  Throughout the year, we keep in touch by cell phone and e-mail.  However, there is nothing like being together, sipping wine and sharing family news, career challenges, and our love of new shoes.  Discussing the pros and cons of reaching the half century mark always comes up too.  Among us you will find wives and widows, mothers and stepmothers, and daughters of aging mothers and fathers. 

In years past, our conversation revolved around our children.  We looked to each other for advice and support as we coped with the terrible twos, middle school independence and aggravating adolescents.   Something different happened this year.  Caregiving was still a topic of conversation, but centered on our parents, rather than our children.    We are all caregivers, with a parent or parents that are facing issues common among older adults:  chronic illness, medication management, cognitive decline, financial concerns, fall risk, and driving conflicts.   

Each one of us expressed concern and a willingness to help.  We wanted to help our parents remain independent and honor their wishes.  Yet, we had so many questions!!!  All weekend long, we discussed and debated how best to help our parents.  Without realizing it, we became a caregiver support group and were comforted by sharing our concerns, ideas and strategies with dear friends.  We have continued the support by raising issues, asking questions, and providing updates via group e-mails.   We haven’t yet joined the facebook revolution, but have formed our own informal eldercare exchange network to help us cope with our aging parents. 

I feel incredibly fortunate to have such a caring group of friends.  Their support has helped me through all stages of life and continues to prop me up when I’m concerned about my Mother and how best to help her.  I encourage every caregiver to find either an informal or formal support group.  Talk to your friends , neighbors and colleagues about caregiving.  My guess is you will find someone else who is an active caregiver.  Also, explore formal support group opportunities offered by organizations such as the Alzheimer’s Association, local hospitals and/or assisted living and long-term care facilities.