December has arrived and with it comes the mad dash to prepare for Christmas.  Each year I promise myself I’ll do less, but never can decide what to “give up.”  So, I’m busy shopping for just the right present for family and friends, decorating my house and baking Christmas cookies at midnight.  It just wouldn’t feel like Christmas, if I skipped any of these activities.  Because growing up our home was filled with Christmas preparations and I have wonderful memories of my Mother patiently making cookies with us and helping us make homemade decorations and ornaments.

My challenge this year is to find creative ways to include my Mother in Christmas preparations.  I recognize that she can no longer shop, decorate or bake like she used to.  However, she still wants to be included and participate, just at a different pace and smaller scope.  So, this year we’ll go for a drive and look at Christmas lights and she will “direct’ as I place my Christmas Village on the mantel.  We’ll go on a brief shopping trip to the mall, limited to one store, where she’ll pick out a few things for my sister and me.  She won’t bake, but she will enjoy the cookies I make and suggest that she take some home for later! 

My advice for other caregivers would be to:

§         Maintain realistic expectations! Give yourself permission not to have a ‘perfect’ holiday.  Accept that things will be different this year.

§         Keep or adapt family traditions that are the most meaningful to you.

§         Begin preparations as far in advance as possible. 

§         Request help.

§         Plan the holiday gathering with respect to your parent’s needs.  Host a smaller gathering, avoid changes in routine, or have a space available where your parent can rest.

§         Encourage your parent to participate and include them in conversations.  Select a comforting activity such as looking at old photo albums and reminiscing.