My 79 year old Mother, Henrietta, has significant memory loss. Her Dr. has used the words dementia and Alzheimer’s to describe her condition – both scary words that my sister and I do not use in Mother’s presence.
I have become my parent’s “parent.” It is an odd shift of role reversal, one that is confusing and, at times, difficult for both of us. But as I gently guide my Mother to select a new dress or pick an entrée while dining out, I realize that her decision making ability has simply disappeared. Her mantra is “I’ll ask my Daughter.” I’m grateful for the confidence so lovingly bestowed, but find the transition fraught with emotion – sadness, anxiety, frustration and the lingering doubt that I know how to do this well.



Posted by: Jeannie, RN on Monday, October 29, 2007
While your mother defaults to you to help her make decisions it is still incredibly stressful for her to be in that situation. You may find it easier to eliminate the need for her to make decisions or give her only 2 choices (example: Would you like the chicken or the fish?) Giving her the entire menu is probably overwhelming. Many restaurants have their menus available online so you can decide before you get to the restaurant. You can even call ahead with your order and avoid the entire situation - this works especially well if you have reservations. You are doing a great job!!!!!