When you are caregiver, it is very easy to become the taskmaster.  There is always something “to do.”  Dr. Appointments, grocery shopping, bill paying, laundry – these activities are “top of mind.”  The “to do’s” are usually “must do’s” because they center on your parent’s health and safety.  As a former psych major I am reminded of the Maslow “Hierarchy of Needs” -   where physiological and safety needs are at the bottom of the pyramid and met first.  But lately I was bothered because the “to do’s” structured our time together.  I lost sleep one evening after my Mother referred to me as “her boss." I much preferred being Karen - "her daughter." 

I had a conversation with my Mother about what she would like to do for “fun.”  She mentioned going out to dinner and shopping – things we already do on a fairly regular basis.  Then, she said – “I’d like to go to a movie -  I haven’t been to a movie in a long time.”  So, yesterday we went to the movies. We had buckets of buttered popcorn and large cokes.   We saw “Enchanted” – the Disney movie about a princess who is banished to New York City by a wicked queen.  We whispered together when we recognized a NYC landmark and barely breathed when the wicked queen served a poison apple to the princess.   Adorable Patrick Dempsey starred – perfect casting as far as we were concerned! 

I thought about it afterwards and realized that not only did my Mother enjoy the change in routine, she also enjoyed the memories associated with going to the movies.  Yesterday, she told me the oft-repeated story of her first date with my Dad – which was going to a movie.  She laughed as she told me she was very embarrassed during the date because there was a naked baby in the movie. Then, she commented that no one would even notice that now!        

In these days of DVD’s and pay-per-view, the role of the movie theatre in my life is much different than it has been in the life of my Mother.  For her, it was the joy of a weekly Saturday afternoon matinee as a child and, later, dates with my Dad, which continued after they were married.  No wonder she was so happy to “go to the movies.”

I was happy too. I was thrilled to see her engaged and energized as she discussed the movie with me afterwards.  I was thrilled to walk out of a movie feeling entertained vs. drained and vowed to see a Disney movie again soon! 

In the future you will still find us at the grocery store trying to decide on a cereal choice (Trix is the current favorite) …but look for us at the movies too!