Caregiver Support

Most current research suggests that caregivers should interact with older adults with Alzheimer’s in “their” world to minimize anxiety and frustration.  This means not correcting them when they tell you they went to work today, drove to the store or had a conversation with their Mother.    It does no good to remind them that they haven’t worked in 40 years, driven a car in 5 years or spoken to their Mother in 20 years.  For these events are still very real to them, as the past has become their reality.

My Mother’s retreat into the past affects everything about her life.  She is appalled that a BLT is $6.95 on a lunch menu.  She doesn’t understand why my Father hasn’t come back from a business trip.  She tells medical personnel she is 45.  When I am with her, I feel like I have stepped through the door of a time machine that has set the clock back by decades.
Stepping back in time helps me connect with my Mother.  We have lively conversations about her job and shopping trips and she glows with pride when I compliment her new hairstyle.   I don’t overload her with too much information or share plans in advance.  I respond from my place within the time machine, where my Mother is much younger and I am much older. 

My Mother’s birthday is coming up.  My sister and I have planned a celebration with her friends from her memory care neighborhood.  We will have a cake with her name written in sugary icing, balloons, party plates, favors and presents.  It will be reminiscent of birthday parties from within the time machine, when the joy of turning a year older with family and friends was all that mattered.