As the complexities and concerns of aging continue to challenge older adults and their caregiving family members, the resulting stresses call for the best possible family communications.  Luckily for our family, effective and frequent communications have come naturally.  But for many of the situations we have encountered in our helping others, due to life-long reasons and attitudes, communications are difficult and incomplete.  Sometimes it is the senior who shuts off attempts of family members to discuss key issues including housing preferences, medical support, finances and health care support.  And at other times adult family members don’t communicate effectively and build defensive barriers in the process.

Here were our major challenges with Mother:

• Deciding to stop driving.  Following her rehabilitation from her broken hip it would never be “life as usual.”  Fortunately, she recognized the changes and voluntarily offered to stop driving and sell her car.  Had it not gone the way it did, we would have faced the difficult challenge of convincing her to part with an extremely important part of her independence.
• The decision to sell the house and move to a senior living facility went well even though we had promised her she would never have to move in her earlier situation.  We were fortunate to be dealing with a logical and fully functioning senior.  I now see cases where the housing decision, if opposed, threatens to destroy family relationships.
• The third big decision was for her to turn her finances over to me.  We phased it to have  her write checks as long as desired until she voluntarily agreed that it would be even better if all aspects of her finances were handled for her.
 
Our Web site, www.myhealthcaremanager.com, has helpful hints for effective family communications.  We also featured communications in one of our Update emails.  You can read the Family Communications issue of the Update by clicking here.  You can also subscribe to the Update eNewsletter to receive future monthly issues by clicking here.