Asking for help is difficult.  Accepting help can be difficult too.  For some of us, asking for help feels like failure – i.e. if we can’t do it - we must not be smart enough, capable enough or care enough.  However, nothing is further from the truth.  Asking for help is sometimes the absolutely best thing caregivers can do….not just for themselves, but for their parents. 

It is impossible for any one person to be an expert on everything.  It is impossible for any one person to manage a huge number of caregiving tasks, in addition to managing work and family responsibilities.  Sometimes going it alone is not feasible or practical. 

Finding help is not difficult.  Tap into all the resources you can think of – use your informal network of friends, neighbors, and co-workers.  Consider developing a formal network with case workers, companion services, home health agencies and geriatric care managers.  This week, I estimate that the Geriatric Case Manager I work with here at My Health Care Manager saved me about 8 hours – by making phone calls to share concerns about my Mother’s declining health with the doctor and the assisted living facility. Then she followed up to make sure the doctor’s recommendations were followed and the tests he recommended took place.  This represented hours of work that would have been very difficult for me to accomplish in the midst of a very busy work day. 

The bottom line is that my Mother’s care is better when I utilize help.  Problems are more quickly identified and addressed.  Our Health Care Manager always keeps my sister and me informed, so we don’t feel disconnected from the issues surrounding my Mother’s health or care.  Additionally, our Health Care Manager offers suggestions and insight based on years of geriatric experience that help us provide the best care possible for our Mother. 

Don’t be a hero by trying to go it alone.  Caregivers don’t look good in capes.

Ask for help!