Again facing an important issue with no trusted advisor, we began meeting with the sales representative for the nursing home where she had several friends. (Little did we know how many options exist even once a “retirement home” direction is chosen. Now it’s clear that there are major differences in the economics, quality, safety, security, staffing, meals, ancillary services, transportation options, continuing care availability and long term options among the retirement community and alternatives.) So our meetings quickly focused on Mother’s health and economic situation that could meet their entrance requirements.
We didn’t even look at many of her alternatives to living alone. We now know the options include an independent living community (IL), a continuing care retirement community (CCRC), a “senior-friendly” apartment or condominium, a neighborhood shared home, and several others.
And within the options are many varieties including for-profit or not-for-profit, public or private, local or nationwide chains, and the “scorecards” they all receive from their respective state boards of health.
In the economics criteria alone, we now understand there are monthly rental, deposit, and equity plans with varying percentages of returns if occupancy is ever terminated. We were fortunate to pick “the gold standard” in our community, and they had a one bedroom unit available within the next 90 days after some desired renovations were completed.
Now we had to figure out which plan was best for our situation. The variables were the percent, if any, of the initial deposit returned if the person moves out or dies, the costs and credits if the person moves from Independent Living to Assisted Living or Full Health Care, and other important items.
We included Mother in the discussions so the ultimate decision was hers, and with her supporting the move we signed the papers and started planning the downsizing and move for the next 3 months.
Our experience with the decision to move into a Continuing Care Retirement Community was very good, but we hear and are involved with many situations that don’t work out as well for caregivers and their aging parents. Really working on our family communications throughout the decision process and including her in all decisions turned out to be one of the most valuable lessons learned.