Discharge from the SNF was a big benchmark in Mother’s rehabilitation from her broken hip.  But even with 3 children in the same city sharing eldercare duties, going back home found nearly everything had changed.  Just choosing a home health agency became a case in point.  Dispatched from the SNF with a long list of home health agencies but with no recommendation – only a small step better than tearing out the Yellow Pages – we had to figure out which one to use.  (We didn’t know that thousands had gone before us in making decisions – some right and some wrong.  Additionally, we didn’t know that there were ways to check out the candidate home health agencies to help in the decision.)  The agency we went with sent one worker who had the misfortune of an unreliable car and getting stuck in snow, so with two misses we requested a more reliable worker to assist Mother.  In the second week of the coverage I was surprised by Mother’s advising me she had fired the worker because “she just sat there and made notes in her notebook.”  So we were back to square one.

Luckily Mother offered that she didn’t feel safe driving her car anymore, and we had it sold in a week!  (Giving up driving remains one of the most difficult situations a family has to resolve.)  Still struggling with mobility issues (moving around with difficulty and a walker), we were preparing for 7 day, two shift coverage (around $20-28 thousand a year at $14-18 per hour for qualified companions with no health care services) to let her stay in her home.  Since we had already inspected her home for environmental safety, that plan could have worked.  But Mother perceptively guessed that her opportunities for social interactions would rapidly decline, and she offered that she would be willing to consider a retirement community for more security, easy access to old and new friends, and the peace of mind that she was in a supportive and protective environment.

Having promised her when she was mobile and independent that she would never be forced to move to a “retirement home,” it was now time to consider alternative living options once she brought it up.  I’ll share this next passage in my journey as a caregiver in my next Blog.

Please share any experiences you have had with home health services by posting a comment below.